My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
