I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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