Sponge bath it is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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