dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
