My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you would pick up someone in the library
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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