im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
