I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Randomize
