Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
pray to the hookup gods
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
