your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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