I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
