Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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