sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
