You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
