Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
