sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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