my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
