AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
