His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
