Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
