Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
