i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
