Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
