i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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