I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
