She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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