I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
