Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
