ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize