Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
