the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize