I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
