you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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