Kiss
Puke
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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