i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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