Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize