I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
