There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
