I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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