I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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