First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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