I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
