I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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