My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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