dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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