is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
