speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
