oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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