when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You were trust falling into bushes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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