We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
