They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You need a sexual gate keeper
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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