ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
