oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
