the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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