i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
