Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No subtext here. People are naked.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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