My nipple is on Facebook.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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