My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
