Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
