i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
