At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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