So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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