there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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